Never Forget
by akaruiookami
Summary: Song Fic. I have loved and now i've lost. I thought my heart was safe with you. You said you would never leave


A/N Hello to you all. I was bored so I decided to write a song fic to my immortal by evanescence. I hope it's not to bad so. In this Jesse has left and Susannah is trying to cope with her loss. From Susannah's POV. I'll stop babbling now so you all can read I hope you like it. 

~Kami~

Disclaimer: I do not own the mediator series or any of its characters even though I wish Jesse was mine *sigh* I don't own this song either.

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I have loved and now I've lost. I thought my heart was safe with him. He said he loved meHe said he would never leave. True he did warn me that this day would come. He always said his time here was limited. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Though I have to say I would have preferred later rather that sooner. Jesse is gone. I understand that now, but why does it feel like he is still here watching over me. Why am I overcome with fear now that I am alone?

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* I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all of my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish you would just leave

Because your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone*

I have never minded being alone. To tell the truth I had come to expect it, even welcome it at times. You've been gone for a week now. My fear is not subsiding. The pain is not leaving. Instead it grows stronger each passing day. What is wrong with me? Why can I still feel your presence here?

__

*These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's to much time cannot erase*

I dream of the night before you left. When you took me in your arms and brushed a hand over my cheek. You leaned down close and whispered that you loved me and kissed away every tear I had shed over you. When we broke apart I saw that your eyes were filled with tears. You knew then that you would have to leave. You knew something was wrong. You looked so scared that night. You held onto me as if you would never let me go. I wrapped my arms around you trying to banish the fear from your eyes. I know now that you had good reason to be scared. No matter how much time passes I will still love you Jesse. I hope you know that.

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* When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me *

I find myself living in the past. Remembering every detail of your face, of our life together, brief as it was. Your face haunts me every waking moment. I can't forget you. I can't move on. I promise you I will never forget what we once had. What we once held onto so tight. The sight of your face in my dreams brings me a mixture of pain and joy. I love you still, but to see your face in my dreams and open my eyes to find you still gone is a pain worse that death. Sometimes I see your eyes in the darkness watching. It brings little comfort, as I know it is my imagination. Though sometimes when I open my eyes for one perfect moment I swear can feel your arms wrapped around me. Holding me close. Those moments are bliss. 

__

*You used to captivate me 

By your resonating light

But now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me*

Sometimes I still think you are here beside me. At night I swear I can feel your eyes on me. When I wake up everything is the same. You're still gone. And I'm still here alone. I wish I was wrong, I wish you were here, that this past week wasn't real, that at any moment you would appear before me and pull me into your arms. There are times when I know you can hear me, see me even. I hope it's not my imagination. I hope my heart isn't playing tricks on me. My life feels like its falling apart. I need you Jesse, now more than ever. I don't care how many tears I shed over you, or how many times I scream your name into the wind. My sorrow will never end it won't gone away with the seasons. Now that you've gone what have I to live for? The only thing that keeps me going from day to day is the hope that one day you will return to me. I will never forget you; I will never stop loving you. I want you to know that. If you are not here with me than I might as well be alone. I will always remember what we had, what we shared. All the joy and laughter, all the tears and sorrow. Even the anger and pain. I will never forget the times we had whether they be good or bad. I will never forget you Jesse de Silvia. There is always hope that you will come back to me. For as long as I live I will never release that hope. I will never love another as long as I have that hope. It will stay with me until me dying day, the day I see your face again. Even though at times I can feel your presence I am still alone, and that is how it will stay until I am in your arms again. 

__

* These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears

And I've held your hand through all these years

But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

And though you're still with me

I've been alone all along*

They always say its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. I now know what they meant by 

that. I will always hold your love close to my heart. I will cherish the time we had together always. You're gone but at least I still have the memories of what we once had. No matter how alone I feel I will always have the memory of your love for me. I hope fate brings our paths together again someday. Even if I have to wait an eternity. I will remain yours. My heart belongs to you and no one else. I'll love you now and forever. I have begun to realize that you are not as gone as I once thought. You are still with me, and it's not my imagination. I can hear your voice on the wind, telling me that you love me. I can see your eyes in the stars, watching over me keeping me from harm. I can see your smile in the sun shining down on me form above. When the wind blows around me I feel your arms around me, I feel you whispering in my ear. Holding me tight in your loving embrace.

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*Because your presence still lingers here*

Goodbye Jesse I'll see you again someday. _Yo te amor_

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The end I hope you all liked it now press the pretty purple button and tell me what you think of my creation. Come on I know you want to. The purpleness of it is calling to you. So just press it and type your hearts out.

C Ya

~Kami-chan~


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